By Patrick McNerthney
The trouble with television shows, aside from the fact that I’m never in them, is their over reliance on strong characters that never seem to have an inkling of doubt.
Right now you’re thinking, “No way, you’re wrong, I just binge-watched this great drama where they delved into the characters’ inner conflicts, fears, etc. etc. etc.”
To which I respond, (a.) “Thank you for your feedback,” (b.) “However, you are wrong. Dead wrong…” and (c.) “How the heck do you keep up with the eight million shows streaming online these days?”
Okay, you may be right. Maybe doubt, particularly self-doubt, is covered in some Netflix mid-seventeenth century period piece nobody watches. But that’s not the point. The point is, whether we’re watching a prime-time television program, a film, reading someone’s post on LinkedIn, or (worse) watching someone’s Instagram video montage, it’s easy to assume the person we’re watching is supremely gifted, talented, in-charge and completely lacking doubt.
(It’s simply not possible that everyone on here feels great all the time!)
Makes sense, we’re only seeing what they (whoever “they” are) want us to see about their character. Which often leaves out their lame parts, the parts they want to hide: Fear, doubt, and other supposed weaknesses. This is totally fair, both because they oversee what they’re making, and because it’s natural to want to appear strong and confident–that’s how our culture rolls.
The problem is when we are exposed to this thousands of times a week (literally, in little social media snippets, TV shows, commercials, movie trailers, gas stations, you get the idea), we start to feel bad about doubting ourselves, or being afraid, or lacking confidence. This widely publicized “Normal,” it seems, doesn’t recognize such frailty!
(Behind here lies the truth.)
And by allowing ourselves to accept this new normal, we’re (a.) not being kind to ourselves and (b.) forgetting to peek behind the curtain. Everyone experiences self-doubt. The humans we follow – those who create, portray, act, direct, broadcast and post all that stuff – feel weak and scared at times. (Remember Beyonce’s alter-ego Sasha Fierce? It’s literally another personality she made up to overcome her terror of performing on-stage.)
And there’s the rub! Who would have thought Beyonce holds the key to our well-being? Self-doubt is a good thing. We need to embrace it and use it for what it really is – an essential ingredient in building our confidence.
Here’s the breakdown:
- Confidence comes when there is enough self-doubt to motivate us to strive for, and achieve our best.
- Uncertainty is the engine that drives self-improvement.
- Yes, self-doubt can be so painful that it hinders. But that’s a good thing, because just like when we work out, we need resistance to become stronger – it makes us lean into the challenge, and that’s how we move forward.
So it’s time to stop beating ourselves up when we’re filled with doubt or fear. Rather than self-criticize, let’s start looking at what these supposed undesirable feelings are telling us: “This is important! This is not easy, and that’s okay! This feeling may very well be indicating I’m doing the hard thing and that’s the right thing to do!”
Fine Art Miracles (FAM) is on a mission to help caregivers do the right thing as they struggle to support the elderly, children with challenges, and people of all ages with different abilities. Social isolation amplifies the anxiety, depression, and disconnection these underserved populations live with every day, and your work of caring can feel daunting, thankless, and rife with doubt.
That’s where FAM comes in. Our programs – including Art Therapy, Music Therapy, Dance & Movement Therapy, and especially Multi-Sensory Sessions – provide a way to take action today, a chance to lean into the resistance of self-doubt and uncertainty as you seek to improve the lives of those you care for and love.
The best part is, you’ll see results! Creative expression generates feelings of self-worth, relevance, and confidence in participants, while connecting them with their past and allowing them to experience the joy of simply making. Just the kind of change that strengthens their belief in a hopeful future, in their importance, and ability to have an impact – despite any doubt.
Feel like listening to some Beyonce now, right? If you have any questions, please reach out, FAM is happy to help! And speaking of entertainment, I’m going to stream some shows on Netflix to see if I can find a character I can relate to – I’ll let you know if I find anything good!
